Rock Hard Sword
by Lordoftheslice
Summary: The **EROTIC** Tale of Rock Hard Sword, and His adventure in Middle earth. ROCK HARD SWORD PERSUES THE EVIL BO-NAR AND THEY TOTALLY FIGHT! RATED A FOR AWESOME! Enjoy a 3lb FISH MEAL for 2.99 at 7/11 (only valid with coupon). WESTSIDE!


Rock Hard Sword

Alright, so check this shit out. There's a world, just like the lord of the rings. In fact, it is the Lord of the rings world, only none of the same dudes are in this story, but it's totally set in the same world and this shit really happened.

There was this evil dude named Bo-nar and his Balls were fucking huge and they had fishers in them, like 2 oversized watermelons that have set out in the sun way to long and have started to split open . Most men would be totally pumped by this but he had a major problem, his penis was very small and thin. He was the son of the King of the human race. The king was nice and all that shit but Bo-nar was evil as fuck. His hatred of the world stemmed from his grotesk Genatellia, because no woman would have sex with him he planned to take over the world by kidnapping all of Middle Earths bitches. Human bitches, elven bitches, hobbit bitches, dwarf bitches, ALL BITCHES! Including some select shemales.

On the other side of the world was "Rock Hard Sword"

Rock Hard Sword was like the nicest dude you will ever meet. Him and Bo-nar were the same age and were friends when they were young, but that all changed at age 12, when Bo-nar tried to Rape Rock Hard Swords wife. Fustrated that his penis was so small and that it couldn't even get past the pussy lips, Bo-nar punched her in the Boobs and killed her. Rock Hard Sword was so upset and depressed by this that he spent the next 10 years building a massive Ladder trying to reach Heaven to kick Gods ass. After 10 years he relized that he could never reach Heaven and came back down to Middle earth. Rock Hard Sword became famous for this, as everyone watched him as he attempted this. He became a Hero for it. In fact, Frodo seriously asked him to join him on his Journey to destroy the One Ring but Rock Hard Sword declined stating that on that weekend he had to go Grocery shopping because Tostinos Pizzas were 2 for $1. The world understood and accepted this and he remained a hero.

One good thing did come from his 10 years of Building that Ladder. ROCK HARD MUSCLES. Mother fucker was ripped, looked like a Bodybuilder on 3X the steroids, he would put Conan to shame. And his fucking penis was huge, and had massive veins runnings through it. All those veins were necessary because it took ALOT OF BLOOD to make is massive penis erect. In fact, his penis was mistaken for the 2nd Tower at one point until Rock Hard Sword let them know. His penis was unharmed.

Rock hard sword also gets lightheaded when he gets an erection because most of the blood from his body has to be redirected to his penis.

One day, rock hard sword was at Wal-Mart and was in the frozen food section and overheard two guys Talking...

(Two Guys Talking) Hey, did you hear about Bo-nars Plan?

(Two Guys Talking) Yeah dude, He has a plan to take over the world by Kidnapping all it's Lovely ladies.

Rock Hard Sword was pissed, It's been more then 15 years since's Bo-nar raped and killed his wife, he ran over the them and...

(Rock Hard Sword) TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS PLAN MOTHER BITCHES!?

(two guys talking) Mister sword, Bo-nar is going to kidnap all of Middle earths women!

(Rock hard sword) WHERE'S HE HIDING?

(Two guys talking) I dlont know sir, but I hear that they may have some inmformation in the elven city!

(Rock Hard Sword) Thank you!

Rock hard sword was fucking pissed, it was time for a duel mission, Revenge and SAVE MIDDLE EARTHS BITCHES! Rock hard sword packed all his necessary gear which included Hot Pockets, Pancakes, Condoms, a sword and shield, 2 cans of Tuna's, his Valtrex and his Xbox 360 with a copy of Brutal Legend and Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo HD Remix. His Quest begins. Hold on let me get another drink of beer and ill come back and write some more (PERSON WHO JUST PROOFREAD FOR ME AND ASKED THAT I DELETE HER NAME).

Rock Hard sword has Arrived in the elven city.

(Rock Hard Sword) What's up babe? Get any info for me?

(Elven bitch) Got any of that Rock Hard cock for me?

Rock Hard sword undressed and exposed his massive erection. He undressed the Elven chick and totally did her. He performed oral on her for at least 15-20 minuets, he finally had to stop when she exploded ep-a-thal-us fluid all over his face. The he penatrated her and touched her boobs, and let me tell you something, this chicks boobs were fucking nice, he even squeezed the nips and alittle bit of Elven milk came out (Note to reader: Elven chicks are always lactating, she wasent pregnant or recently had give birth, it's just natural to there race) He licked that shit off her boobs and she thought that was fucking hot.

Rock Hard Sword then turned her around and fucked her in doggy but elven chicks asses are kind of small and narrow so it wasent as hot so he flipped her around and upside down and they were 69'ing, she again exploded female elven ejackulate in his face.

Then he went to BROWN TOWN and ate her ass hole alittle bit before entering her ass, her ass was so fucking tight that Rock Hard Sword could only last about another 3 minuets, then he pulled out and exploded seamen in her fucking beautiful elven face. She tried to wipe it off and stick it in her snatch to get pregnant but rock hard sword got a garden hose real quick and cleaned her out before his sperm fertilized her egg.

(Rock Hard Sword) Sorry babe, dont want to pay another child support check.

(Elven Bitch) Was it good for you?

(Rock Hard Sword) About average, but defantly not bad. So, where's my info?

(Elven Bitch) I heard Bo-nar is in the hobbit city.

Rock Hard Sword wen't to the free clinic and got tested and its a good thing he did because that chick had chlymedia. The doctor gave him 2 fucking horse pills of anti-biotic and a contact letter to give to her, which he totally did and she got treated to, and rock hard sword wasent even mad at her, he was like, babe, it's ok, you didnt know you had it, were both going to be ok and you can totally call me sometime, i dont hate you for giving it to me. Then he made his way to the hobbit city.

When Rock Hard sword arrived in the Hobbit city he went to the bar and got drunk, he met this Hobbit chick there and asked her if she knew were Bo-nar was and she said...

(Hobbit) I know EXECATLY where her is...what do i get in return?

(Rock Hard Sword) Want me to TAP that fucking Midget ass?

(Hobbit) Yes, but I have...strange fetishes...

(Rock Hard Sword) Whatever it takes...

Rock Hard Sword and The Hobbit chick went back to her Hobbit hold and got butt ass nakid, she was a fucking Midget but a Hot one

(Rock) So, what do I have to do to get this info from you?

(Hobbit) I want you to call me your daughter and shit in my mouth so that i can eat it.

Rock Hard Sword was like, fuck man, so you want me to roleplay that Im taking a dunp in my daughters mouth.

(Hobbit) Yes, then i want you to throat fuck me with your shit in your daughters mouth and when yer ready to cum I want you to pull out, pull your legs over your own head and cum in your own mouth with all of your own shit from your daughters mouth dripping in there to.

(Rock) Ok.

Rock Hard Sword fucking did as he was told, HE FUCKED THAT LITTLE MIDGET ASS HOBBIT BITCHES CUNT AND ASS and then he fucking sprayed shit all over her cunt fucking mouth, throat fucked her, pulled his own legs over his head and jacked the rest of the way off into his own mouth. dripping cum and shit in his own mouth.

(Rock hard sword) Ok, now I want the info?

(Hobbit) Fuck you, I want more, and you didnt do it good enough.

The bitch was evil and a cunt, Rock Hard sword would not stand for this, it was time for action. He pulled his Sword (the metal one) Out and threating to slit her tiny midget throat if she didnt tell him where Bo-nar was.

(Hobbit) Listen faggot, all you have to do is give me more and ill tell.

(Rock Hard Sword) NO SLUT! You tell me now or you die!

(Hobbit) Fuck you, you kill me and youll never find out!

ALL OF A SUDDEN OUT OF NO WHERE Q FROM STAR TREK THE NEXT GENERATION CAME OUT!

(Rock Hard Sword) Whats up son!

(Q) Whats up muh nigga, looks like you need help?

(Rock Hard Sword) I do, make this bitch tell me where Bo-nar is.

(Q) Ok.

Q from star trek the next generation totally punched her in her nose and she finally told Rock Hard.

(Hobbit) He's hiding in the sewers of new york!

Rock Hard made his way from the Hobbit city of middle earth to the sewers of new york.

(Rock Hard Sword) Hello...is anybody there?

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES, TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES, TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES, TURTLES IN A HALF SHELL, TURTLE POWER!

The fucking ninja turtles pop out and Rock hard sword kills them all with one blow of his mighty sword. He also killed superman and Laurence fishburne from the matrix while he was down here and masterbated while thinking about that elven chick from the first act of this story. He jacked off and blew cum on a turd that was floating upstream, it was floating upstream because there was a fan blowing at it, thats the only reason logically that that could be possible but it seriously happened, im drunk.

BO-NAR HAS ARRIVED.

Bo-nar and Rock Hard Sword totally fought, Bo-nar had 7 bitches sucking his tiny cock while he fought which gave him power, he blew 12 gallons of cum in Rock Hards face which blinded him(Note to reader: Remember how huge his balls were?). Rock Hard sword died in the fight because he had a heart attack and that is the end.

the end.


End file.
